(418k) .mp3 (303k)
Sloan: What do you think Ferris is
(Twist and Shout by the Beatles starts playing)
Cameron: He's gonna be a fry cook on Venus.
bitebig .wav (22k) .mp3
Jeannie: Bite the big one, Junior.
(221k) .mp3 (161k)
Ferris: They bought it!
(MTV THEME SONG PLAYS....at least the one they played back in the day when they
actually played videos.)
(111k) .mp3 (80k)
Cameron: CALL ME SIR, GODDAMMIT!
Ed Rooney: YES! YES SIR! YES SIR!
Cameron: That's better!
camegypt .wav (252k) .mp3
(OKAY! ENOUGH REQUESTS FOR THIS ONE!! STOP WITH THE EMAILS! AAAAAAGH!)
Cameron: (Singing) When
Cameron was in Egypt's laaand.....Let my Cameron goooooo!
childish .wav (115k) .mp3
Ferris: It's a little childish and
stupid, but then, so is high school.
clammy .wav (393k) .mp3
Ferris: The key to faking out the
parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom...I'm a big believer
in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead-lock, but,
uh, you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in the doctor's office....That's worse
college .wav (218k) .mp3
Ferris: If anybody needs a day off,
it's Cameron. He's has lot of things to sort out before he graduates. Can't be
this wound up this tight and go to college...his roommate will kill him!
doagain .wav (112k) .mp3
(Makes an excellent shutdown sound)
Parking Garage Attendant: Wooooooo!
Hahaha! Yeah man! We got to do this again!
(181k) .mp3 (131k)
Ferris: You speak English?
Parking Garage Guy: (Looks stunned) Ah, what country do you think
(205k) .mp3 (148k)
Mom: You're not going to school
like this now!
Jeannie: Oh fine! What's this? What's his problem?
Mom: He doesn't feel well.
Jeannie: Yeah, right. Dry that one out, you can fertilize the
(263k) .mp3 (191k)
Student: This guy in my biology
class, said that if Ferris dies, he's giving his eyes to Stevie Wonder! Oh he's such
a sweetie! Gotta go!
Another student: Hi Jeannie!
harry .wav (49k) .mp3
Grace: You sounded like Dirty Harry
herpes .wav (308k) .mp3 (N/A)
Jeannie (on the house intercom): Whoever
is in the house, or still in the house, I'd like you to know that I've just called the
police! So if you have any brains whatsoever, you'll get your ass out of my house
real quick. I'd also like to add that I have my father's gun and a scorching case of
ingym .wav (152k) .mp3
Ferris: Hey Cameron...you realize
if we played by the rules, right now we'd be in gym? (Both laugh)
insultme .wav (167k) .mp3
Cameron (on phone to Mr. Rooney): Well,
I think you should be sorry, for Christ's sake! A family member dies, and you insult
me! What the hell is the matter with you anyway?
isms .wav (525k) .mp3
Ferris: It's not that I condone
facism....or any "ism" for that matter. "Isms" in my opinion are
not good. A person should not believe in an "ism", they should believe in
themself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles...I just believe in
me." A good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be
the walrus, I'd still have to bum rides off of people!
killdcar .wav (64k) .mp3
Cameron: What did I do?
Ferris: You killed the car.
letmstay .wav (269k) .mp3
Jeannie: Wait, you're letting him
stay home? I can't believe this! If I were bleeding out my eyes, you guys
would make me go to school. This is so unfair.
Ferris: Jeannie, please don't be upset with me. You have your
health, be thankful.
mortuary .wav (236k) .mp3
Cameron on a pre-recorded answering machine
message: You have reached the Cawthorne Brothers mortuary. We are
deeply sorry we are unable to come to the phone right now, but if you will leave your name
and number, we will get back to you as soon as inhumanly possible. <beep>
nvrdoubt .wav (132k) .mp3
Ferris: Incredible! One
of the worst performances of my career, and they never doubted it for a second!
pos .wav (297k) .mp3
Ferris: Mr. Rooney would never
believe Mr. Peterson drives that piece of shit.
Cameron: A piece of shit?
Ferris: It is a piece of shit! Don't worry about it, I don't even
have a piece of shit! I have to envy yours.
Cameron: Oh, thanks.
sngshowr .wav (210k) .mp3
Ferris: (Singing in the shower)
I recall Central Park in Fall! How you tore your dress, what a mess, I
soakhead .wav (193k) .mp3
Grace: Peterson home on line
one....and watch your mouth this time.
Ed Rooney: Go soak your head.
socialism .wav (330k) .mp3
Ferris: (Referring to a test he has
today) It's on European socialism. I mean, really! What's the point?
I'm not European...I don't plan on being European. So who gives a crap if
they're socialists? They could be facist anarchists...It still wouldn't change the
fact that I don't own a car!
takitbak .wav (730k) .mp3
Cameron: Please don't say we're not
gonna take the car back....Please don't say we're not gonna.....
Ferris: If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back
right away? Neither would I.
(Ferris revs up the engine and races off)
thenurse .wav (298k) .mp3
Singing Telegram dressed as a nurse: I
heard that you were feeling ill, headache, fever, and a chill! I came to help
restore your pluck! Cuz I'm the nurse who likes to... (door slams)
throwhim .wav (179k) .mp3
Ed Rooney: I don't trust this kid
any further than I could throw him!
Grace: Well, with your bad knee, Ed, you shouldn't throw anybody!
wench .wav (26k) .mp3
Student yelling at Jeannie: YOU
whatscore .wav (127k) .mp3 (N/A)
Rooney: (Looking at the Cubs baseball
game on TV) What's the score?
Pizza Guy: Nothin' nothin'.
Rooney: Who's winning?
Pizza Guy: The Bears.
Ferris: How can I possibly be
expected to handle school on a day like this?
Teacher: (taking attendance)
Girl: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's
girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris
pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
Ferris: I asked for a car, I
got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?
Ferris plays "The Blue Danube" on his
keyboard using sampled coughs and sick sounds.
Ferris: Pardon my French, but
Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a
Mr. Rooney: He jeopardizes my
ability to effectively govern this student body.
Grace: He makes you look like an ass is what he does, Ed.
Grace: The sportos and
motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads... they all adore him.
They think he's a rightous dude.
Cameron: (pretending to be Sloane's dad) Pardon my French... but you're an asshole!
Cameron: (as Sloane's dad) Now
you just mind you P's and Q's buster.... and remember who your dealing with.
Ferris: Bueller. Ferris Bueller.
Cameron: He'll keep callin'
me.... he'll keep callin' me until I go over. He'll make me feel guilty...THIS IS.... This
is ridiculous, ok? I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. I'll go. I'll go... wai.. I'll go... shit.
(car starts... then stops, sounds of Cameron hitting
his hand against the car's seat)
GOD DAMMIT! ......
(car starts and roars... Cameron screams... car
Forget it... that's it.
Cameron: The 1961 Ferrari 250GT
California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car.
It is his love, it is his passion...
Ferris: ..it is his fault he didn't lock the gararge.
Snooty Maitre D': I appreciate
Ferris: Don't think twice. It's understanding that makes it possible
for people like us to tolerate a person like yourself.
Maitre D': Thank you.
Ferris: Don't mention it.
Cameron: Eh... batta batta
batta batta suuuwing batta... c'mon..
Ferris/Cameron: Eh... batta batta batta suuuwing batta...
can'thithecan'thit suuuuwing batta...
Ferris: Ladies and gentlemen,
you're such a wonderful crowd we'd like to play a little tune for you. It's one of my
personal favorites, and I'd like to dedicate it to a young man who doesn't think he's seen
anything good today. Cameron Frye... this one's for you.
(Ferris lip synchs the first verse of
Ferris: Here's where Cameron
(Cameron screams forever.)
Cameron: Whoa...... Holy shit!
Hood: There's somebody you
should talk to.
Jeannie: If you say "Ferris Bueller" you lose a testicle.
Hood: Oh, you know him?
Ferris: Life moves pretty fast.
You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
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