Toad: You really think I'm intelligent?.
Debbie: Yeah... I bet you're smart enough to get us some brew.

babe.wav (45K)

Toad: Babe.... Bitchin' Babe.

bfalfa1.wav (93K)

Falfa: (Harrison Ford) Hey you're supposed to be the fastest thing in the Valley man, but that can't be your car, that must be your mama's car. I'm sorta embarrased to be this close to you.

bfalfa2.wav (176K)

Falfa "sings" Some Enchanted Evening

bholly.wav(78K)

John Milner(Paul LeMat): Ah, I don't like that surfin' shit. Rock-n-Roll's been goin' down hill ever since Buddy Holly died.

bitchin.wav (376K)

Carol: (McKenzie Phillips) Good, a cop. I'm gonna tell him you tried to rape me.
Milner: Oh, no no no.
Carol: It's past curfew. I'm gonna tell him how old I am, my parents don't know I'm out and you tried to rape me.
Milner: Yeah, with shaving cream.
Carol: Boy, are you up a creek.
Milner: Come on, really now. Carol, don't say anything.
Carol: If you say "I was a dirty bird. Carol's not grungy, she's bitchin'." (pause) Say it, I'm tellin'.
Milner: "I was a dirty bird. Carol's not grungy, she's bitchin'."
Carol: I'll think about it.

buttpark.wav (157K)

Joe: (Leader of the Pharoahs) You know Gil Gonzalez?
Curt: (Richard Dreyfuss) Gil Gonzalez? Ahh no. No I don't.
Joe: Don't know Gil huh? Well you oughta. He's a friend of ours, and that's his car you got your butt parked on.

cheese.wav (63K)

Ants: (A Pharoah) Hey man, who cut the cheese?
Joe: He who smelt it dealt it..

dork.wav (159K)

Falfa: Hey, you know a guy around here with a piss-yellow Deuce Coupe? Supposed to be hot stuff?
Toad: You mean John Milner? Hey nobody can beat him man, he's got the fastest...
Falfa: I ain't nobody, Dork. Right?
Toad: Right.

idy.wav (234K)

Toad: Oh, uh, excuse me, Sir? I gotta problem, you see I lost my ID, uh, in a flood. And I was wondering, since you're going in there anyway, could you pick me up some Old Harper...hard stuff? Would you buy me a bottle?
Old Timer: Why certainly. I lost my wife too. Her name wasn't Idy though. And it wasn't in a flood.

oldharp.wav (196K)

Liquor Store Clerk: Want something?
Toad: Umm...yeah. Let me have a Three Muskateers and a ball point pen, one of those combs there, a pint of Old Harper, a coupla flashlight batteries and some beef jerky.

spyscp.wav (185K)

Pizza Guy: Nicky's Pizza.
Wolfman Jack: Uh yeah listen, you got any more of those secret agent spy scopes?
Pizza Guy: Hit Parade on the Stethascope?
Wolfman Jack: No, secret agent spy scope man, that pulls in the moon and the stars and the planets, and the satellites, and the little bitty space men.
Pizza Guy: You must have the wrong number, partner.

tbird.wav (231K)

Curt: Any of you guys know a blonde in a white T-Bird?
Joe: I know her, what about her?
Curt: I'm tryin' to find out, y'know, who she is.
Joe: Well she's outta your price range man. My brother went out with her. He clued me in.
Curt: Price range? Are you tryin' to tell me that she's a prostitute?
Joe: That's right. She's a thirty-dollar sherry.

toby.wav (348K)

Joe: What should we do with him?
Ants: Tie him to the car and drag him.
Curt: (laughs) You know Toby Juarez? Tobey Juarez, he's a Pharoah isn't he?
Joe: Toby Juarez?
Ants: Yeah, we know Toby. We killed him last night.
Ants: Tied him to the car and dragged him.

tucknrol.wav (169K)

Debbie: Wow, that's bitchin' tuck 'n' roll. You know I really love the feel of tuck 'n' roll upholstery?
Toad: You do?
Debbie: Yeah.
Toad: Well, come in I'll let you feel it. I mean, you can touch it if you want.. um... I'll let you feel the upholstery.
Debbie: Okay.

wolfman.wav (180K)

Wolfman Jack: Who's this on The Wolfman telephone?
Operator: Hello, I have a collect call.
Wolman Jack: Pardon me, you're name is Collette?
Operator: Collect call for...
Wolfman Jack: Your name is Collette Call?
Operator: Sir, this is the operator.
Wolfman Jack: Are you French, Operator?
Operator: Collect call for Wolfman Jack.
Wolfman Jack: I love you, Operator.