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3bears.wav(260k)
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Grandpa: The baby bear looked and he said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed, and the bastard's still there!" But Goldilocks had a Remington semi-automatic, with a scope and a hair trigger!
Allie: That's not the way it goes!
Grandpa: And that was THE END  (Allie giggles)  of the thrrrrree bears!

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cataloni.wav(57k)
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Grandpa: What do you say we go back to my place, and I'll show you my cataloni!  Huh?

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chucke.wav(60k)
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Max: Look, people are not gonna come down here for Italian, when we've got a Chuck E. Cheese right in town!

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holdup.wav(94k)
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John: You and that beautiful lady?
Max: I am the thief of hearts...I am the gangster of love!
John: Gangster, huh?  Well tell me, was it more of a hold up than a stick up?

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neutered.wav(72k)
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Max: YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO TAKE ME ON ANYMORE!  ARIEL'S HAD YOU NEUTERED!

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lesbians.wav(101k)
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Geraldo (on TV): What happens when Bonnie & Clyde turn out to be Bonnie & Bonnie?  Lesbian bandits, next on Geraldo.
Max: Oooh!  Lesbians!  Yummy!

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gettnany.wav(24k)
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John: I think I liked you better before you were gettin' any!

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poorman.wav(50k)
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Max: Would you look at that poor man?  hah hah hah!

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quarter.wav(122k)
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Grandpa: RELAX!  Kids swallow quarters all the time!
Melanie: Really?
Grandpa: Sure!  If she craps out two dimes and a nickel, then you can start worrying, huh?

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shaveass.wav(64k)
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(Excellent Error Sound)

Max: If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards!!

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whackem.wav(30k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

Mama: AT LAST!  I GET TO WHACK HIM!

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wishcrap.wav(91k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

John: Dad, I wish you'd try the lowfat bacon.
Grandpa: Well, you can wish in one hand and crap in the other...and see which gets filled first!

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