Please Visit Our Sponsor!

All of the Grumpier Old Men sounds are sampled at 11kHz.


3bears.wav(260k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

Grandpa: The baby bear looked and he said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed, and the bastard's still there!" But Goldilocks had a Remington semi-automatic, with a scope and a hair trigger!
Allie: That's not the way it goes!
Grandpa: And that was THE END  (Allie giggles)  of the thrrrrree bears!


cataloni.wav(57k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

Grandpa: What do you say we go back to my place, and I'll show you my cataloni!  Huh?


chucke.wav(60k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

Max: Look, people are not gonna come down here for Italian, when we've got a Chuck E. Cheese right in town!


holdup.wav(94k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

John: You and that beautiful lady?
Max: I am the thief of hearts...I am the gangster of love!
John: Gangster, huh?  Well tell me, was it more of a hold up than a stick up?


neutered.wav(72k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

Max: YOU DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO TAKE ME ON ANYMORE!  ARIEL'S HAD YOU NEUTERED!


lesbians.wav(101k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

Geraldo (on TV): What happens when Bonnie & Clyde turn out to be Bonnie & Bonnie?  Lesbian bandits, next on Geraldo.
Max: Oooh!  Lesbians!  Yummy!


gettnany.wav(24k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

John: I think I liked you better before you were gettin' any!


poorman.wav(50k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

Max: Would you look at that poor man?  hah hah hah!


quarter.wav(122k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

Grandpa: RELAX!  Kids swallow quarters all the time!
Melanie: Really?
Grandpa: Sure!  If she craps out two dimes and a nickel, then you can start worrying, huh?


shaveass.wav(64k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

(Excellent Error Sound)

Max: If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards!!


whackem.wav(30k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

Mama: AT LAST!  I GET TO WHACK HIM!


wishcrap.wav(91k)
Share 500MB of files, pictures, videos, and music with family and friends. Try it FREE CLICK HERE

John: Dad, I wish you'd try the lowfat bacon.
Grandpa: Well, you can wish in one hand and crap in the other...and see which gets filled first!


BACK TO INDEX PAGE