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Mixed Nuts
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affair .wav (71k) .mp3 (52k)
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Ms. Munchnik: If you think your husband is having an affair.....HE IS!
Chris: Dancing with you, makes me feel all....fluffy!
Philip: My heart is racing and I'm feeling all nervous and sick.
Catherine: That's the way I've felt since the day I met you.
Louie: Helllllloooooooo!
Chris: Do you have music?
Philip: Hello, this is Life Savers! Merry Christmas! How may I help you?
Man on phone: I-I only have two months to live.
Philip: I am so sorry sir. Everyone at Life Savers is with you!
Man on phone: May I speak to a woman?
Catherine: Hello, Merry Christmas if it's alright to say that.
Man on phone: What's your name?
Catherine: Catherine.
Man on phone: I WANT TO RAVISH YOU LIKE A WILD ANIMAL! (Catherine screams and runs away while he howls on the phone)
Philip: NOW STOP IT RIGHT THIS MINUTE!! WE CAN'T HAVE THIS SORT OF THING!!
Chris: Hello? LIfe Savers, may I help you?
Man on phone: May I speak to a woman?
Chris: You ARE speaking to a woman. (Phone goes dead)
Chris: Are you a professional ukelele player?
Louie: Oh--hohoho--no, I'm a writer.
Chris: What do you write?
Louie: T-shirts.
Catherine: Static again! Hello? Hello?
Man on phone: I can't hear you.
Catherine: Try clicking the little button. I'm having a bit of a problem hearing you.
Man on phone: (cocks gun) Look, I'm at the end of my rope and I wanna die!
Catherine: Click it please! Go ahead!
Man on phone: (Pulls trigger on the gun)
Louie: Somebody's not in the holiday mood, I guess! (giggles)
Philip's Fiancee/Girlfriend: I don't know how to say this....My psychiatrist says we should break up.
Philip: I didn't know you were going to a psychiatrist.
Philip's Fiancee/Girlfriend: Well, I'm not actually going to one. I've been dating one for 4 months.
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