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All of the Spaceballs sounds are sampled at 11kHz.


5minute.wav(234k)

Colonel Sanders: Are you alright sir?
Dark Helmet: Fine. How have you been?
Colonel Sanders: Fine sir.
Dark Helmet: Good.
Colonel Sanders: It's a good thing you were wearing that helmet.
Dark Helmet: Yeah..
Colonel Sanders: What should we do now, sir?
Dark Helmet: Well...are we stopped?
Colonel Sanders: We're stopped, sir.
Dark Helmet: Good. Why don't we take a five minute break.
Colonel Sanders: Very good, sir.
Dark Helmet: Smoke if you got 'em. (Dark Helmet falls to the ground)


angry.wav(22k)

Lone Star: You are ugly when you're angry.


assholes.wav(150k)

Dark Helmet: How many assholes do we have on this ship anyhow?.
Crew: YO!
Dark Helmet: I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!
(Pulls down facemask)
Keep firing assholes!


howmany.wav(32k)

Dark Helmet: How many assholes do we have on this ship anyhow?


suround.wav(32k)

Dark Helmet: I knew it! I'm surrounded by assholes!


bearded.wav(28k)

Dark Helmet: Come back, you fat bearded bitch!


wemeet.wav(32k)

Lone Star: At last! We meet for the first time for the last time.


asbigas.wav(60k)

Dark Helmet: You have the ring. And I see your schwartz is as big as mine.


gooddumb.wav(53k)

Dark Helmet: Now you see that evil will always triumph...because good is dumb.


order.wav(36k)

Dark Helmet: Out of Order?! Fuck! Even in the future, nothing works!


blimp.wav(19k)

Lone Star: Uh oh! Here comes the bad year blimp!


ucaptain.wav(38k)

Lone Star: On this ship, you are to refer to me as 'Idiot' not 'You Captain!'"


mycan.wav(19k)

Dot Matrix: Hey! Stop looking up my can.


selfdest.wav(61k)

Computer: This ship will self destruct in 20 seconds. This is your last chance to push the cancellation button.


chicken.wav(178k)

Colonel Sanders: Prepare ship for lightspeed!
Dark Helmet: No, no, no! Lightspeed's too slow!
Colonel Sanders: Lightspeed too slow?
Dark Helmet: Yes. We're going to have to go right to.......Ludicrous speed! (everyone gasps)
Colonel Sanders: Ludicrous speed? Sir, we've never gone that fast before...I don't know if the ship can take it!
Dark Helmet: What's the matter, Colonel Sanders? Chickennn?!


hail.wav(12k)

Crew: Hail! Scroob!


buckle.wav(31k)

Colonel Sanders: Sir! Had you better buckle up!
Dark Helmet: Aaaah.....buckle this!


imamog.wav(40k)

Barf: I'm a mog! Half-man, half-dog! I'm my own best friend!


findshit.wav(79k)

Dark Helmet: Found anything yet?
Black Spaceball Trooper: We ain't found shit!


bewithu.wav(55k)

Yogurt: And may the schwartz be with youuuuuuuuuuuuu!


schwartz.wav(42k)

Yogurt: Never underestimate the power of the schwartz!


knowital.wav(58k)

Yogurt: Who dares enter the sacred and awesome presence of the everlasting know-it-all?!


myass.wav(22k)

President Scroob: Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big?!


vacusuck.wav(29k)

Colonel Sanders: Commence Operation....Vacu-suck!


sucksuck.wav(32k)

President Scroob, Dark Helmet & Colonel Sanders: Suck! Suck! Suck!


suck2blo.wav(17k)

Colonel Sanders: She's gone from suck to blow!

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